Marriage Reception

We reached Chennai on the morning of 26-8-2011. Two days later, ie on 28-8-2011, we had reception at New Woodlands Hotel, Mylapore, planned for that evening. Latha and Vidhya joined Swapna for Bridal Make up for the reception. All three of them reached Woodlands Hotel, about one hour behind the schedule and they could not be recognised easily with their make up. Swapna looked like Devika Rani, the famous Bengali Actress, who won Dada Saheb Phalke Award.

Mr.Shahul  arranged special seat for the Bridal couple to sit. Aravind arranged special music system for the Reception. Most of the  guests were on time. Finally  the Bridal Couple were ready. (After few minutes Rains started pouring for some time).My old friends, KS Subramanian and TV Srinivasan were there. Ammalu Chithi and Chittappa, Ambujam and Thirumalai were also there. The office bearers of ICAF  along with officials of GMLwere also present.The  dinner was simple and nice.For the first time I saw Suguna (Athanga’s daughter) with a nice smiling face . There was some good attendance from the Bride’s  relatives and friends.

The photographer came out with good photos and video recording.

On the whole the reception went off well and I had the satisfaction of  fulfilling my earthly commitments so far successfully.

Swapna’s parents left after few days stay with us. Swapna had some communication problems/some reservation in talking to me initially. I told her very clearly that she could talk to me without any inhibitions. We were planning to visit Trivandrum for the forthcoming thalai  Deepavali.  However one day prior to that Swapna had some medical problems and we had to cancel that trip .Krishnamurthy and Radha helped in attending to her medical problems .

I was attending GML office as usual. There was change in the leadership in the office. Mr. Ranjit took over the chairmanship from his father,Mr.Anandam. Mr.Madhan was removed as M.D. and things were going  from bad to worse. GML started losing its importance  in the group. Slowly there were plans for reducing the fleet. Added to that Income Tax Dept came on a raid to the company.During my entire official career I had not faced the Raid by Income Tax Dept., till that day. Hence I felt very bad and was just wondering why I should continue in that organisation,

( to be continued )


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On the next day morning ( 23-8-2011) we were ready in full strength for the function -( my five brothers,five sisters in law, chittappa and chithi,Brother in law Krishnamurthy and Radha, my two  daughters and sons in law, grand children, Sambandhi  Ramakrishnan and his wife and co brother, my sister in law, Padmakshy with Sharadha and Kumar and of course my son,my nephews and niece. Photo session was on for sometime.

When the van was ready we reached the marriage hall in time for Purvangham etc. It was done in a leisurely manner as we had lot time to spare. We had to request Sri Kirthivasan to spare some gift dhoties to be given to  our additional guests who had come there and he readily obliged. In the afternoon we had Nischayathartham, followed by Reception and Dinner. Natarajan and Manni did the main role on Bridegroom side because of the absence of Parvathy. I had a brief shock when Sampath Sastrigal  requested Natarajan officially to accept the Bride for his brother’s son !! I thought that I will get over the shock easily.

Mithra and Megha dazzled with their ready made sarees.The evening Reception  was made more lively by the very enjoyable music programme by Narayanan(ex SBT) and Party. The music slowly made our group to dance as family. Raghu and Mina started the dance, which was soon followed by our entire group, including Bride and Bridegroom and Chitti and Chittappa. On the whole we had very pleasant evening. Our friends from ICAF reached there in the afternoon before the Reception.

The next day  we went in groups and were in time for functions starting with Kasi  Yathra. The Bride and Bridegroom were getting ready for exchange of garlands, in the courtyard outside the marriage hall. Suddenly I developed psychological break down, which  started the previous day afternoon, and went inside the marriage hall. For few minutes I could not control my feelings and with lot of difficulty I came out of it without shedding tears outwardly. For the first time in my life I did not know what was happening in my mind/ heart. Somehow  I came out and joined the joyful gathering for the Exchange of garlands/ Oonjal etc followed by Muhurtham.

Sampath Sastrigal explained the vows taken by the Bridegroom on the Marriage day.  The afternoon was allotted for Nalangu.  One major group left for Chennai by evening Train. We went to Station to bid farewell to them, after recording the marriage  in the official records..That night I had to sleep between Rohan and Swetha, both banging me on both sides.

On the next day the remaining main party left for Chennai by evening train.

( to be continued)







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Krishna’s Marriage

Srividya  came  with Swetha and Mithra, to Chennai about more than a month before Krishna’s Marriage date. She was very helpful for inviting close relatives and friends personally.

Sri Krithivasan also made a visit to Chennai along with his wife and the Bride ,for the purchase of wedding sarees and stayed at the residence of his sister in MRC Nagar,few months prior to Marriage date. I visited them along with Sri Krishna and saw the sarees selected.

Latha arrived few days prior to the marriage, along with Rohan and Megha. Latha and Vidya  purchased  dresses for them and children. Till last minute they had no positive confirmation about the arrival of Two sons in law, Sai Krishna and Shankar.   Latha arranged Mehendi for all Ladies and children.

On 21-8-2011, all of us assembled at  B15  Aishwarya, for Pillayar puja and Yathra Dhanam  to be performed by the Bridegroom. Murali sastrigal came in time to organise and assist the Bridegroom for Yathra dhanam and Pillayar puja.It was a big gathering   and made a good beginning of marriage formalities. After completion of Puja, we reached the Station in Batches.

Raghu made special arrangements to hire bed sheets for the entire group from Chennai and brought them to Chennai Central Station on 21-8-2011 . As our group was accommodated in three Third A/c  compartments, the bed sheets were distributed in three bundles suitably at the Station.  Fortunately everyone came on time. The train journey started  with lot of smiles and laughter. Akshay acted as official photographer, recording all interesting incidents and entertained the children group.

Before we reached Trivandrum, Vidhya  announced happy news that Sankar had arrived at Chennai surprisingly and he would reach Trivandrum very shortly. Still there was no news about Sai Krishna. As we reached Trivandrum, we were well received by Sri Krithivasan and group,with van and vehicles. Very  soon we reached our quarters near the marriage hall..As there was no programme on that day plans were made for visiting Padmanabhaswamy Temple in groups. In the afternoon I went to Trivandrum Airport to receive   Delhi Chittappa and Chithi. There was some delay in the arrival of their flight and I came back to our quarters with them.  On arrival there,I was surprised to see Sai Krishna there, who also came from the same airport. I did not know how I missed him at the airport. However he was also slightly non recognisable ,with his big beard etc.

Sankar also joined us very soon there.

( to be continued).



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2011 ( continued)

We started planning for fixing Muhurtham date for Sri Krishna’s marriage. August was preferred as it would be convenient for both Latha and Vidhya to plan their travel to India coinciding with school vacation of their children. Fortunately 24th August’11 was found auspicious and suitable date for Muhurtham. It was also decided to conduct the marriage at Trivandrum and a separate Reception in Chennai few days later.

We also planned a short trip in a  small group consisting of Krishnamurthy , myself and Sri Krishna to Trivandrum so that all arrangements could be finalised. As we reached Trivandrum Railway station we were pleasantly  received by Sri Kirthivasan, accompanied by the Bride and were taken to the Hotel nearby,for our stay. We went to their House in Sankar Nagar  and Sreedevi Hall,the Marriage Hall near Sri Padmanabaswami Temple and Raj Palace, the venue for accommodating our  expected group, near the Marriage Hall. My expectation was about 50 people would come to attend the marriage. Raj Palace could easily accommodate the expected guests.Originally I had planned to visit USA after completion of Marriage ceremonies by end August, as I would be free from all responsibilities . But after reaching Trivandrum,  I had a surprising request from the Bride that I should be with them for at least some months after the marriage ceremonies were over. I readily agreed.

After a long time, a marriage was being arranged at a city, away from Chennai requiring long distance travel by train.Next we started compiling list of our relatives,who would be making the trip. As the travel time expected was more than 16 hours and as the majority were senior citizens, I suggested for booking 3rd a/c accommodation in train.It was planned to go in single group while going from Chennai and in two groups while returning from Trivandrum. Murali Sastrigal agreed to join the group along with his brother,Sampath Sastrigal. As seats for six persons only could be booked in an online  booking ,Sri krishna from Chennai and Latha from Virginia simultaneously booked both onward and return tickets on the respective dates successfully. Initially our actual requirements was about forty tickets. Sai Krishna and Shankar  expressed their inability to attend but they said Latha and Vidhya would be there with the children.  Similarly Delhi Chittappa and Chithy also pleaded their inability but I requested them to make the trip somehow. I invited five friends from ICAF and arranged their tickets separately.

New Woodlands Hotel, Mylapore, was fixed for Wedding Reception on the evening of 27-8-11. We could get ground floor Hall for the reception.Invitation cards were selected by Sri Krishna .

In June’11, I spent about 10 days in Dubai with Raghu and Mina.,as per invitation from him.That was my trip after five years.

Shantha and Rajaram assisted in purchase of sarees and dhoties etc  for Bridal couple and guests. We started distributing the invitations by personal calls/ visits to our relatives.


( to be continued)




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2011  ( Continued)

At the time of her death, Parvathy had a big unfulfilled wish – ie Suitable Alliance should be arranged for Sri Krishna .

Latha and Vidhya left on completion of all ceremonies. Immediately thereafter, I drafted advertisement matter for publication in the Matrimonial column of” The Hindu” in the next three Sundays.

On the next Sunday morning  Sri krishna and myself were in the residence of Jayaram  for lunch.At about 9 / 10 am I received a call from Sri Kirthivasan of Trivandrum,requesting for Horoscope of Srikrishna. I responded  with Krishna’s Horoscope and other details.In the next few days I received the Horoscope of his daughter, Swapna ,and also received the information that both the horoscopes were matching, as per them. I requested Shantha to request the Lady Astrologer in their Apartments to compare the horoscopes and give her opinion. Very soon I was advised the good news that they were matching.

My acquaintances in Trivandrum, namely Sri George Mathew and President of Chalachitra Film Society, were well known to Sri Kirthivasan.Sri Krishna also gave his consent to proceed further. When I enquired whether we should plan a visit to Trivandrum to see the Girl,Sri Kirthivasan advised that they would be in Chennai during the third week of February’11.Later we were told that we could meet very near Kapaleeswarar Temple on 24th February,2011. Sri Krishna and myself met them on that day afternoon as suggested. It was a good beginning.Both the sides agreed positively inside the temple premises to proceed further. After a short break for coffee at Saravanan Bhavan, we decided to correspond further for Nischayathartham etc. On the next day or so myself along with Rajaram and Shantha saw them off at Chennai Egmore Railway Station for their return trip to Trivandrum.

24th March 2011 was selected for Nischayathartham. Jayaram helped me in booking Raga Sudha Hall , mini air conditioned hall, near Nagewara Rao park,Mylapore , for that Function. Sri Radhakrishnan was given the catering contract. Shantha and Rajaram helped in purchases for the function.  Two days prior to the function I met Sri Kirthivasan and his close family members  at  their Chittappa’s house in West Mambalam .

Latha surprised everybody by her presence for Nischayathartham . I was not even kept informed about her expected arrival till last minute. Another surprising information was that Swapna’s elder sister, Kavitha, had two sisters in law, by name Latha and Vidhya,in the same order and her Husband’s Name also happened to be  Rohit KRISHNA.

There was a good attendance of all close relatives, including Calgary Krishna . Delhi Chittappa and Chithi were there. The stage was full with all relatives from both sides.On the whole there was a good Colourful participation. The function went off very well and ended with a very good dinner, which was appreciated by everybody.

(To be continued)

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On that fateful morning of 15-01-2011 I was standing in a state of confusion near the gate of St. Isabel Hospital. I could not answer the query of the Duty Doctor about my next plan.

Latha and Vidhya had been informed and they immediately confirmed their plans to reach Chennai on the second day, at the earliest. Dr Sai Ramanan came to my rescue and immediately arranged a volunteer to rush to the Hospital to take the Body to a Mortuary in Kilpauk for safe custody for two days. Krishna was with me throughout. Krishnamurthy, Thirumalaiswamy and others also reached the Hospital. SHANTHA, Rajaram and others joined me in the Hospital.After the body was taken to the Mortuary we found a small snag. As the Hospital had only certified that the Patient was brought dead,Mortuary authorities insisted on a Doctor’s certificate for  the reason of the death.Krishna’s friend came to our help and got that certificate from Dr.Sai Ramanan immediately and delivered the same at the Mortuary. By that time we also arranged through Sankara Nethralaya for donation of her eyes. After completion of the formalities the body was kept in the Mortuary for preservation and safe custody. Some friends came to the Mortuary to have a last glimpse of the body. SHANTHA ‘s presence  at the Mortuary was a big source of strength.

After some more time I reached to my Empty Home. I started to realise the LOSS. The travel schedule of Latha and Vidhya reached soon after. As they were expected to reach Chennai on 17th we made arrangements to bring the body home for final rites on 17th morning with the help of Sri Krishnamurthy. Some seniors like Chittappa and Chithi ,Thirumalaiswamy and Ambujam waited patiently in the ground floor to have a glimpse of Parvathy’s body. I did not know from where I got the strength to face the world with that loss.Somehow I showed a brave face and managed the arrangements for her final rites.Lot of relatives and friends were there on that day. I could see the devotion and sincerity with which Sri Krishna did the last rites.Latha, Vidhya and Krishna were brave in facing their big loss. On  that day evening cremation was over and her ashes were immersed in the ocean. The next eight to ten days were entirely devoted mainly to  my daughters and son.That was a new experience and emotions were running High and Low. Sometimes I could not control my emotions and my unusual anger, even though I did not show outwardly. Sastrigal fixed a convenient place in Ratna Nagar for doing 9th day to 12th day ceremonies and 13th day function was done in our flat. The neighbours did lot of help during those days. Mani Athan paid special compliments to me for the way I conducted myself  during that period.

Immediately after completion of 13th day function ( Subhasweegaram) I decided to place Advertisement in “The Hindu” for prospective alliance for Sri Krishna.That was one of the main worries Parvathy had at the time of her death.

( to be continued)

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2010 and 2011

After  her discharge from Malar Hospital, Parvathy  appeared to be fine. However by that time she  had developed internal fear about her health and she always would compare herself with her mother, who passed away in her sixtieth year. She started to dislike the dentures given to her and that was an additional problem.  She wanted to fix suitable bride for Krishna and somehow it could not be finalised. Hence she started to have blood pressure , in addition to diabetics . Dr. Sai Ramanan  had been revising her medicine list according to her health condition. Dr Shamsuddeen was also consulted.

Rohan’s upanayanam was  to be held in September’10. Parvathy started planning for the function months in advance. At one stage Doctor suggested to have nurse to take care of Parvathy at home during daytime, as myself and Krishna were working.After few days Parvathy developed more problems  and Doctor advised her hospitalisation in St Isabelle Hospital for few days for better treatment and recovery. On the second day after her hospitalisation she became completely  normal and she was discharged within a week.  Of course  Dr  Sai Ramanan said that by that time she had  developed Alzhemire disease( memory loss), which was in initial stage. That was a big shock to me.

After sometime we felt the need to have two nurses to take care of her through day and night. There was a fall in her health condition with her memory loss , though minimal,adding to her problems.Again she had to be hospitalized after few days- that time in a crisis situation in an AMBULANCE. After two days in ICU, she was moved to a special Ward  and she was not happy with the Nurses in that Ward.She started to complain about the nurses and equipments.On that day Dr.Sai Ramanan could come there only after 10 pm.He referred to her complaints only as an indication of her fall in health and changed her  medicines immediately( Had she been normal, she would not have complained ).Latha came on special leave to be with her in the Hospital that time. While she was at Hospital, Parvathy called Cook Radhakrishnan to finalise catering arrangements for Rohan’s Upanayanam !!  Lot of tests were done . It was finally found that Parvathy had to eat food with less SALT and she had to consult Urologist.After more than one week she was finally discharged .

After discharge from the Hospital there was a remarkable recovery over a period of two or three weeks. Parvathy was able to attend Rohan’s Upanayanam in September’10 spread over two days. Of course Nurse attendants were there.  Later Latha arranged special Homam for the recovery of Parvathy.Afterwards we tried to reduce Nurses slowly. In October’10 she seemed quite normal and I arranged  trips to Pondicheri and then to Kumbakonam and  Peravur.She was able to make theses trips without any assistance. Hence I planned a trip to Coimbatore in end October’10 to attend Sashtiabthapoorthy of Coimbatore Srinivasan by train. Srinivasan was very particular in requesting Parvathy to make this trip.She not only attended the function happily but also climbed the stairs of Marudhamalai temple along with Natarajan and Jayaraman, with ease.

In the next two months she  was almost normal generally.She called me over the phone frequently, when I was in office.That was something unusual.She also went for consultation with the Urologist Lady specialist. That lady specialist advised her to get admitted in the Hospital once more to bring down salt problem.The tone and language used by that specialist did not go well with Parvathy. She did not want to get admitted once more and was only trying to postpone.At that time I was busy with Film Festival work. One day I got appointment with that Urologist fixed and also arranged transport  but finally she requested me to somehow postpone the appointment to some time after Pongal !! She wanted to be at home for PONGAL.

Later she started blaming me for fixing dentures for her without her consent ! Finally January ‘2011 came. On 14-1-11, TV programme was there in the evening for Sabarimala Makara Jyothi and she spoke to all relatives mentioning about that programme. Krishnamurthy and Radha came to our house in the night with Pongal seer.Around same time Latha also called over phone and  Parvathy spoke to everyone at Latha’s house.

Early next morning(15-1-2011) (PONGAL) Parvathy was feeling uneasy and told me that she had taken a decision to go to St. Isabel Hospital. Hence ambulance was called  . Krishna went in the ambulance with her. I went by scooter with Krishna Kumar.

On reaching the Hospital, I was shocked to hear the news that she had been certified as BROUGHT  DEAD in the Hospital.The Duty Doctor asked me about my next plan of action. I replied that I did not have any PLAN.


( to be continued)








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